nk2006
05-15 11:43 AM
Contending that the H-1B visa programme is being abused to displace qualified American workers, two US lawmakers have asked nine foreign-based firms, including some leading Indian companies that used 20,000 of such visas, to disclose details about their workforce and their use of the special programme.
The companies the senators sent letters to were Infosys Technologies, Wipro Ltd., Tata Consultancy Services Ltd., Patni Computer Systems, I-Flex Solutions Inc., Satyam Computer Services Ltd., Larsen & Toubro Infotech Ltd., Tech Mahindra Americas Inc. and Mphasis Corp.
It is actually good. There are abuses in H1B program, some of these companies apply for mass H1B's before the quota is complete. They apply for H1B's even if there is no current requirement. Once the H1B is approved, they will send the employee when there is a requirement and that too for some specific time. This is abuse - genuine companies who go by rules have a lengthy procedure to fill a position: open a req/interview people/if the candidate need a h1 then they will file. By this time all H1's are over. These companies are worse than desi body shops - atleast some of smaller body shops apply for green card; but this big name IT oursourcers named by senators dont apply for greencards (there might very very few exceptions).
The companies the senators sent letters to were Infosys Technologies, Wipro Ltd., Tata Consultancy Services Ltd., Patni Computer Systems, I-Flex Solutions Inc., Satyam Computer Services Ltd., Larsen & Toubro Infotech Ltd., Tech Mahindra Americas Inc. and Mphasis Corp.
It is actually good. There are abuses in H1B program, some of these companies apply for mass H1B's before the quota is complete. They apply for H1B's even if there is no current requirement. Once the H1B is approved, they will send the employee when there is a requirement and that too for some specific time. This is abuse - genuine companies who go by rules have a lengthy procedure to fill a position: open a req/interview people/if the candidate need a h1 then they will file. By this time all H1's are over. These companies are worse than desi body shops - atleast some of smaller body shops apply for green card; but this big name IT oursourcers named by senators dont apply for greencards (there might very very few exceptions).
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CraigSum
07-08 11:30 AM
http://digg.com/politics/July_Green_Card_Fiasco_Not_fault_of_DOS_as_per_Con doleeza_Rice_on_CNBC
needhelp!
09-19 03:42 PM
Your analogies are the best :)
Let me explain you in very human form: Baby is the fruit. It takes 9 months to get that fruit. To get that fruit humans put effort ( You know what I mean...). When they put effort, immediately they do not look for baby.. They wait for 9 months.. Correct.. Just apply this analogy to the struggle what we have initiated.:)
Let me explain you in very human form: Baby is the fruit. It takes 9 months to get that fruit. To get that fruit humans put effort ( You know what I mean...). When they put effort, immediately they do not look for baby.. They wait for 9 months.. Correct.. Just apply this analogy to the struggle what we have initiated.:)
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Kitiara
02-11 08:59 AM
And I'll never forget it. ;)
That accounts for two of my votes, and a few others have said they voted for me, but I think there's one or two mystery votes. Same for everyone, really. :)
That accounts for two of my votes, and a few others have said they voted for me, but I think there's one or two mystery votes. Same for everyone, really. :)
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xu1
04-01 03:38 PM
sent..
i was IMing with a friend working for microsoft and trying to tell him about IV. he had already been a contributing member! :)
i was IMing with a friend working for microsoft and trying to tell him about IV. he had already been a contributing member! :)
kaisersose
07-28 04:10 PM
I have old I 140 approval notice, Is it necessary to send the old I 140 approval while interfiling. What if the old company withdraw old I 140, How can I interfile in that situation.
Doesn't matter. You interfile based on priority date and once a 14 0 is approved, your PD remains yours - even if it is revoked later.
Doesn't matter. You interfile based on priority date and once a 14 0 is approved, your PD remains yours - even if it is revoked later.
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onemorecame
10-19 04:13 PM
my travel date is on nov 21st and my RD for ap renewal is aug 6th. here are the things I have done so far.
1) called NSC and expedited mine and my spouse AP.
2) sent a fax copy of the expedite request letter to NEbraska service center requesting an expedite.
3) have sent all the documents to the local congressman and they are sending a letter by fax to NSC requesting to expedite.
4) Have an infopass appt for oct 28th.
5) sent another copy of the ap renewal receipt, along with 2 phographs, 485 and i140 receipt copy along with a letter requesting expedite with an email from travel agent citing financial loss if i cancel tickets.
6) also, my father in law had to undergo a bypass surgery (emergency) this week and we have received a letter from the doctor regarding the same and will be using it during the infopass if I do not see an approval (atleast online) before our infopass appointment.
what isa fax number to expedite the process for NSC, it will great if you can share the format of expedite letter.
1) called NSC and expedited mine and my spouse AP.
2) sent a fax copy of the expedite request letter to NEbraska service center requesting an expedite.
3) have sent all the documents to the local congressman and they are sending a letter by fax to NSC requesting to expedite.
4) Have an infopass appt for oct 28th.
5) sent another copy of the ap renewal receipt, along with 2 phographs, 485 and i140 receipt copy along with a letter requesting expedite with an email from travel agent citing financial loss if i cancel tickets.
6) also, my father in law had to undergo a bypass surgery (emergency) this week and we have received a letter from the doctor regarding the same and will be using it during the infopass if I do not see an approval (atleast online) before our infopass appointment.
what isa fax number to expedite the process for NSC, it will great if you can share the format of expedite letter.
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ndny
07-25 02:24 PM
I gets very severe migraine attack almost everyday thinking about the GC !! I took so many pain killers(acetameno) almost everyday ..now they also stopped working on me...and due to these apin killers ..I became acidic ..acidity everyday..even without eating spicy things...my wife says, probably my lever damaged ..don't like to visit doctors ...will it get worse ? I can't escape visiting IV everyday !! Any remedy for me will be highly appreciated....
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mbawa2574
07-06 06:27 PM
Bummer !!!!!
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Ramba
09-27 03:05 PM
It is very simple. The completion of degree occurs only when any one passes all qualifying examinations. Without passing the sublimental exam, you are not qualifed to recive a degree. You latest exam was in 2002. Therefore you completed all qualifying exam only in 2002. Therefore you obtained the degree only in 2002.
Therefore you must produce the 5 year exp certificate after 2002. If not, convert it to EB3.
At this time the best option is request them to convert to EB3. Apply another PERM LC with EB3 and file 140 quickly, in case they deny your request to convert to EB3. Dont give up your H1 and H4 status till 140 get resolved.
Therefore you must produce the 5 year exp certificate after 2002. If not, convert it to EB3.
At this time the best option is request them to convert to EB3. Apply another PERM LC with EB3 and file 140 quickly, in case they deny your request to convert to EB3. Dont give up your H1 and H4 status till 140 get resolved.
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sys_manus
01-28 09:49 AM
Well said..
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gk_2000
11-02 10:47 PM
Well, at least the bill has been introduced in senate. And if it fails then perhaps peacemeal will happen
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hsingh82
04-13 04:04 PM
So after more than a month of sleepless nights, thanks to Immigration Voice looks like my I 485 application is back on track.
A recap of my situation:
Last month I got an email from USCIS-CRIS stating that my I 485 was withdrawn. After being in this country for close to 10 years and in the immigration queue for more than 7 years why would I withdraw the application ??? I did not withdraw my application !!!
It took me more than a month to find out the reason behind the withdrawal..trust me it was not easy..and guess what ....It was my Attorney who had withdrawn the application in Error. Now what ... I call USCIS multiple times.. talk to many different IO's .. some of them patient and try to help.. some extremely rude.. but all of them had only one thing to say... they cannot help!!..... I get an Info Pass... no help there either.. I set up an emergency meeting with my attorney (one of the large Immigration Law Firms) .. nothing...they accept their mistake tell me that they will do all they can .. but no assurance that they will reinstate the case .. limited forward movement.... things look gloomy and bleak..no one can help me.
Then I called Immigration Voice on the number that is listed on the site and left a voice mail. Promptly got a call back I spoke to a Core member who understood the gravity and urgency of the situation and swiflty moved forward and got in touch with their contacts in the government. The Core member also put me in a conference call with the person who was going to look into my case, I was so relieved that I could explain the situation first hand.
I got a call today and I was told that after evaluating my case my file has been reopened and they have mailed an offical notice regarding the same and I should get it in a few days. *Fingers crossed until I get this notice in hand ;)*
The IV core was extremely sensitive to my situation and were very responsive and extremly helpful. I cant thank Immigration Voice enough for helping me resolve this issue in a quick manner.
I have registered to be a recurring contributing member and I intend to be an active member of this group.
My lessons from this crazy experience are:
- Never trust your attorney, always ask for a copy of any letter/document they send to USCIS on your behalf
- There is no organization besides IV out there that is looking out for the interests of the Immigrant Community.
- We need to strengthen IV in all ways we can, we need to be active.
- And as so many members have already said "We are IV." If we want things to be better "WE" need to do something about it.
I urge members who are still contemplating becoming active members to evaluate their options and to become active and contributing members of IV.
- Peace
Great job IV :)... keep up the good work!
A recap of my situation:
Last month I got an email from USCIS-CRIS stating that my I 485 was withdrawn. After being in this country for close to 10 years and in the immigration queue for more than 7 years why would I withdraw the application ??? I did not withdraw my application !!!
It took me more than a month to find out the reason behind the withdrawal..trust me it was not easy..and guess what ....It was my Attorney who had withdrawn the application in Error. Now what ... I call USCIS multiple times.. talk to many different IO's .. some of them patient and try to help.. some extremely rude.. but all of them had only one thing to say... they cannot help!!..... I get an Info Pass... no help there either.. I set up an emergency meeting with my attorney (one of the large Immigration Law Firms) .. nothing...they accept their mistake tell me that they will do all they can .. but no assurance that they will reinstate the case .. limited forward movement.... things look gloomy and bleak..no one can help me.
Then I called Immigration Voice on the number that is listed on the site and left a voice mail. Promptly got a call back I spoke to a Core member who understood the gravity and urgency of the situation and swiflty moved forward and got in touch with their contacts in the government. The Core member also put me in a conference call with the person who was going to look into my case, I was so relieved that I could explain the situation first hand.
I got a call today and I was told that after evaluating my case my file has been reopened and they have mailed an offical notice regarding the same and I should get it in a few days. *Fingers crossed until I get this notice in hand ;)*
The IV core was extremely sensitive to my situation and were very responsive and extremly helpful. I cant thank Immigration Voice enough for helping me resolve this issue in a quick manner.
I have registered to be a recurring contributing member and I intend to be an active member of this group.
My lessons from this crazy experience are:
- Never trust your attorney, always ask for a copy of any letter/document they send to USCIS on your behalf
- There is no organization besides IV out there that is looking out for the interests of the Immigrant Community.
- We need to strengthen IV in all ways we can, we need to be active.
- And as so many members have already said "We are IV." If we want things to be better "WE" need to do something about it.
I urge members who are still contemplating becoming active members to evaluate their options and to become active and contributing members of IV.
- Peace
Great job IV :)... keep up the good work!
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raydon
10-12 03:03 AM
Looking at the movement of dates for EB3, esp India and China, it's hard to be optimistic of any changes. It's a very wretched position to be in for Indian and Chinese nationality, if they're in EB3. All those who are eligible to port will definitely try to port to EB2 as long as it's available and cut their waiting time. It might be risky and unpredictable, but it's a risk worth taking considering the endless torture in the form of a long wait and zero or little forward movement of dates.
There've been times when I've felt like attempting porting, but am not sure of the reaction of my employer - a big "reputed" company. If they revoke the I-140 in retaliation for using AC-21, then no chance of porting and back to square one. So it's the seemingly endless wait for me just like all others suffering from 2001 onwards. If only I'd not hesitated to take a bold step back in 2003. Too late to lament about that though.
There've been times when I've felt like attempting porting, but am not sure of the reaction of my employer - a big "reputed" company. If they revoke the I-140 in retaliation for using AC-21, then no chance of porting and back to square one. So it's the seemingly endless wait for me just like all others suffering from 2001 onwards. If only I'd not hesitated to take a bold step back in 2003. Too late to lament about that though.
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akp
07-02 04:44 PM
medical: $400 + waiting to hear from insurance if covered for tests and x-rays
Travel : 300 miles ~$100
Photo + photocopy etc ~ $100
Lawyers fee: paid by company
getting Bcs from India at short notice: ~$100 (know why!)
Taking leave from work : 3 days~$700
making parents run around babus in May heat : incalculable
our personal anxiety and anguish: incalculable
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
Travel : 300 miles ~$100
Photo + photocopy etc ~ $100
Lawyers fee: paid by company
getting Bcs from India at short notice: ~$100 (know why!)
Taking leave from work : 3 days~$700
making parents run around babus in May heat : incalculable
our personal anxiety and anguish: incalculable
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
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pappu
09-21 02:15 PM
Recieved FP notice for concurrent filing on 07/23/07 although no reciept notice yet.
Did you get it in the rally? I overheard a rumor that they were being distributed. :D
Did you get it in the rally? I overheard a rumor that they were being distributed. :D
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knacath
10-19 02:45 PM
E-filed on July 17th (NSC)
Received Card mailed e-mail today (Oct 19th)
Received Card mailed e-mail today (Oct 19th)
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hotammo
01-12 10:09 AM
Hi Shamu,
A colleague/friend of mine and his wife decided to have a home delivery. So, they contacted this nurse practitioner/midwife, who used to come to his home once a month and do all the stuff that goes along with pregnancy. They also delivered the baby at his home, which took off all the expense that are associated with a hospital delivery and I'm pretty sure the entire cost for the 9 month term was <5K (actually around 2-3K).
But I believe that was possible because it was a normal delivery with no complications.
So, if you and your wife are in the same situation as most of the people here (i.e. late 20's or early to mid 30's ) there is no reason why you would not have a normal uncomplicated delivery. So having a home delivery is an option.
I am a father of a 15 month old and felt that most of the months that we went to visit the doctor was pretty superficial. They did not tell us anything which you cannot find out from the internet or the maternity books. Who delivered my daughter in the hospital? Well a nurse did.
Also in India my wife told me that most often women don't go to the doctor unless there are issues. (For the period leading up to the delivery. For delivery they go to the doctor.)
So, for uncomplicated deliveries a home delivery could be an option, just check it out and the nurse practitioners (OBGYN variety)/midwives are fully qualified and sometimes more experienced than the doctors as that is ALL they do, they deliver babies.
So check this option if you feel it is OK.
Good luck with your insurance search.
P.S.: Also you seem a little stressed out.
Buddy enjoy this time, you are going to be a father. :-)
A colleague/friend of mine and his wife decided to have a home delivery. So, they contacted this nurse practitioner/midwife, who used to come to his home once a month and do all the stuff that goes along with pregnancy. They also delivered the baby at his home, which took off all the expense that are associated with a hospital delivery and I'm pretty sure the entire cost for the 9 month term was <5K (actually around 2-3K).
But I believe that was possible because it was a normal delivery with no complications.
So, if you and your wife are in the same situation as most of the people here (i.e. late 20's or early to mid 30's ) there is no reason why you would not have a normal uncomplicated delivery. So having a home delivery is an option.
I am a father of a 15 month old and felt that most of the months that we went to visit the doctor was pretty superficial. They did not tell us anything which you cannot find out from the internet or the maternity books. Who delivered my daughter in the hospital? Well a nurse did.
Also in India my wife told me that most often women don't go to the doctor unless there are issues. (For the period leading up to the delivery. For delivery they go to the doctor.)
So, for uncomplicated deliveries a home delivery could be an option, just check it out and the nurse practitioners (OBGYN variety)/midwives are fully qualified and sometimes more experienced than the doctors as that is ALL they do, they deliver babies.
So check this option if you feel it is OK.
Good luck with your insurance search.
P.S.: Also you seem a little stressed out.
Buddy enjoy this time, you are going to be a father. :-)
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MDix
02-13 03:15 PM
http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.5af9bb95919f35e66f614176543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=97e19c337879d110VgnVCM1000004718190aRCR D&vgnextchannel=54519c7755cb9010VgnVCM10000045f3d6a1 RCRD
Please share your thoughts.
Thanks,
MDix
Please share your thoughts.
Thanks,
MDix
pmpforgc
07-13 09:28 PM
Congratulations Dinesh Sharma. I had Sch A II - that got retrogressed -- and now job loss, so I am stuck. But I am happy for you. All the best.
Mr. Sharma Congratulation on your end of your long and fruitful journey.
Bluekayal Sorry to hear that you are still stuck in this mess. I am still in the university this is my second job change after GC. Hope your job and GC situation change to positive soon.
Mr. Sharma Congratulation on your end of your long and fruitful journey.
Bluekayal Sorry to hear that you are still stuck in this mess. I am still in the university this is my second job change after GC. Hope your job and GC situation change to positive soon.
Munna Bhai
05-14 10:04 AM
I read somewhere and thought to share it...anyway I feel very sorry for you
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset..
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more.. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:
'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.
Don't preach...if this is your life..keep it with yourself..others have other reason to move forward with their life..no one has asked for any advise..just answer his questions..
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset..
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more.. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:
'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.
Don't preach...if this is your life..keep it with yourself..others have other reason to move forward with their life..no one has asked for any advise..just answer his questions..
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